Prologue: Ever wondered what does an insomniac dream? Do they have monsters lurking around in their nightmares? The Introvert's curious mind often contemplates the answers to such questions. Sleep can be really elusive to some, and it is very difficult to entertain oneself when the world around you is in dreamland. This note is a brief summary of "a night in the life" of one such Insomniac. In today's world, we don't really need to sleep to witness the monsters of our nightmares, they exist just around us.
It was Thanksgiving week but his neighbors had spared no effort in displaying their excitement for the holidays. He had stepped out of his townhome with a black plastic bag knotted with strings. He paced a few steps down his front yard towards the street. There was a 100-gallon green garbage container sitting idly on the curb. He scanned the road, opened the flap of the green trash container, and shoved the plastic bag down. He noticed it was already empty as the bag hit the floor with a loud thud.
"I must have just missed the garbage truck", he thought. There were two more hours before sunrise, he hated the gloom of winters. It was freezing outside, the kind that stings the skin that's bare. He was wearing a gold Patagonia down jacket, with a black balaclava that covered his head. He took a cylindrical plastic tube out of his right jacket pocket and a lighter from the left. A freshly rolled joint dropped out from the plastic tube, holding it between his index and middle finger, he lit the head of the joint. He took a long drag, held it in for a while, and let out rings of thick smoke from his mouth. He tapped a small button on his Air Pods as the intro bass notes to Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz plays filling his mind with music. It was his current favorite on Spotify, being played on loop. After a few puffs, he put out the joint, slipped it back into the cylindrical tube, and stood there with his hands in his pockets. He never really enjoyed the taste of marijuana, but it helped him relax. He had been getting an hour's worth of sleep in the evenings because of his newly acquired addiction. The street was empty, the display on his mobile showed the time as 5:23 AM, in sharp white. His mind shifts to the song playing in his head,"You got a new horizon, its ephemeral style,
A melancholy town where we never smile,
And all I wanna hear is the message beep,
My dreams, they got a kissing cause I don't get sleep, no"
"This neighborhood feels like a melancholy town right now", he thought to himself. Not even a single soul in sight, everyone tucked in their beds dreaming about something they will probably not remember for more than a few days. He couldn't remember what his last dream was about. It had been more than a week since he had a full night's sleep. His work was demanding, he was away from home most of the time this past year due to the rising cases of an infectious variant that had extended the duration of the pandemic. He was looking forward to his break from work this week. The pre-ordered turkey was to arrive on Thursday morning, two days later. He was planning to try a different sauce for the dressing. She would have liked it. Raymond Killian was not well known in his neighborhood, being the coroner of three different counties meant seventy hours of work a week with a lot of travel on the road, leaving little time for socializing. At thirty-three, he was doing pretty well for himself. A big townhome, a beautiful wife in Elizabeth, his childhood love, and a job that kept him busy, but happy. The effects of marijuana were slowly kicking in, Ray was having all kinds of thoughts zooming past his head. His body was dancing to the beats of the song, he was popping his shoulders and nodding his head in sync. He turned around and started to walk towards his entrance door, as the singer broke into a rap solo, the sound blasting in his ears. He closed the door softly, he didn't want to wake Elizabeth in the room upstairs, so he tip-toed up the steps to the kitchen.
The townhome had three floors, the garage and the study on the first floor, the kitchen and living room on the second, and two bedrooms on the third. Ray filled a glass cup from the water dispenser attached to the fridge. The fridge was filled with magnets, souvenirs of all the places they traveled together in their university days. A smile sprang to his face as he reminisced their trip to the Maldives a few years back thinking,
"Lizzy looked absolutely stunning in that bright yellow two-piece bikini! We should have stayed there longer!"
His mouth was dry, and the cold water quenched his thirst like never before. His addled mind made him believe it was the tastiest water he had ever drank. He left the glass on the kitchen table and sneaked his way up another flight of stairs to the third-floor bedroom to the left. He entered a small bedroom with a queen-sized bed in the center. There were cute end tables on both sides of the bed. A silver photo carousel of Ray and Elizabeth decorated one of them and a white Google home mini lying under a table lamp on the other. The light from the lamp gave the room a somber yellow aura, the one that could put you to sleep with ease. Elizabeth was lying on the bed near the lamp, her eyes closed, body covered with a thick red quilt. She had auburn hair, her skin pale with little freckles on her cheeks. A pair of thin lips below a perfectly shaped nose, she looked like an angel to him.
"Someone's enjoying their dirt-nap, it looks like she's smiling", was the thought that came to his mind as he stared lovingly at his childhood love. He sat on the chair next to the bed, studying her peaceful face. She was perfectly still, not moving a single muscle, like a calm river whose depths knew mysteries no man could imagine. His eyes fixated on her face, Ray wondered what was she dreaming at this very moment. Was he a part of it? Was it a good dream? He always wondered what were people thinking about him secretly in their minds. Raymond was so introverted, that he had nobody else in his life other than Elizabeth. She was all that he needed. He leaned in towards her, kissed her forehead, and whispered softly, "Lizzy, I hope it's a dream as beautiful as you my love!"
He stood up from the chair, unzipped his jacket, and threw it aimlessly. The balaclava flew in the direction of the chair after which he stepped into the bathroom in front of a clear mirror. His long curly hair had begun to cover his ears, it was getting on his nerves, he desperately needed a haircut. He was still wearing his light blue scrubs, with his name embroidered on the left side in white. He took a long hard look at himself in the mirror. He had a round face, big black eyes, and a sharp nose. There were dark circles under his eyes, worry lines sketched across his forehead. He had put on some weight in the last couple of weeks due to constant travel and eating fast food from the local deli, but he still had a lean and fit body. He had not shaved for over a week. The rugged beard had grown just enough to make him look older and more mature. He ran his fingers across his beard, feeling its length and coarseness. It was pricking him.
"Need to get rid of this tomorrow", he announced to nobody in particular. He turned on the tap and let it run for a while till it got steamingly hot. He cupped his hands under the tap and splashed his face with hot water. It felt warm and comforting. He used the pink hand towel hanging nearby to dry himself. A glance at his iPhone display revealed it was 6:14 AM.
"Wow, that took almost an hour. Time does fly by when you're stoned" he thought as if making a mental note to himself. Ray stepped out into the bedroom, took one final glance at Lizzy to make sure she was still asleep, and quietly lifted the blanket off her. He slipped his left arm under her head, right arm under her legs, whispered to her,
"You are all mine now Lizzy. There's nobody that's going to come in between us!" He lifted her body with ease as he carefully headed towards the bathtub. He slowly placed her petite body down in the tub,
"That was the last of Tom, took me four days to get rid of him completely, stubborn man I tell you!" he told Lizzy expecting no reply. His eyes rolled wearily, as he began sharpening a bloody butcher knife that was already sitting next to the tub. He tapped his air pods one more time to increase the volume to listen to the lyrics of the next song.
"You know Lizzy, this song describes the current state of my thoughts just perfectly! I really can't make you happier anymore, so much that you need it from Tom??" his voice was filled with a calm rage.
"I know I couldn't give you the time and attention you needed, but I couldn't let go either. I didn't want to be alone, you know it hurts me too!"
Tears rolled down his face as he hummed the tune of the song currently playing in the queue. He sets the sharpener down on the bathroom floor, stained with splatters of blood.
"I just wonder what you're dreaming of when you sleep and smile so comfortable" Raymond begins to sing the lyrics a little louder than a whisper. His arm raised above his head, the butcher knife clenched in his palm.
"But now it's time to say goodbye, even though sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June"
He strikes down the knife with all his might, hacking away parts of Elizabeth's limbs, the tap gushing water loudly, drowning away the sounds of love-making only Ray could hear in this very bathroom four days ago.
"Road shimmer, wigglin' the vision, heat, heat waves, I'm swimmin' in a mirror" The song trails towards the end as if each instrument being played was turned off.
Ray begins filling a black plastic bag knotting them with strings as he happily hums the tune to Heat Waves by Glass Animals.
